Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
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