morning after pill = breakfast in bed
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
