Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
