windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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