I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Randomize
