So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
