just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
