Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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