I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
