Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I am midnight drunk by noon
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
