Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
