I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
She bit a glass in half.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
