You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
