We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
