trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
