Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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