Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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