you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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