Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
