You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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