At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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