i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
