Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
