she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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