Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
