His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize