the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize
