There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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