i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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