i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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