I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
