the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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