Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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