We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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