in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Randomize
