I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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