I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
