Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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