Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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