Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
