tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize