I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
