I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
