theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
We just shotgunned beers for America
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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