Porn is love you can see.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
