how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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