At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Randomize
