Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
