My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
