Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Randomize
