I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize