So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize