I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize