the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
