Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
