He is an equal opportunity slut.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
