dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Randomize
