even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
