You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
