He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize