this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
